No doubts

I have kept a journal for roughly 15 years of my life.  I can still remember the first journal I ever received.  It was this pink journal that had a blank cover that I decorated with the included ribbons and plastic jewels.  I always felt so special when I wrote in that journal. It had a lock so I could protect all my secret thoughts (mostly about the boys that I loved–ahem, Blake and Bradley–and the fights I had with my friends). I remember thinking that having a journal meant my life must be important because I had something to say, and this attitude about the importance of words has followed me my entire life.

Words are significant, and even though I am the only person who cares about my first-grade journals, those childish words represent an important (and funny) time of my life. I still keep a journal and write in it almost daily, if I have time. Instead of just talking about what boy I like–although I must admit that boys still take up a fair amount of space in my journals–I wrestle with all the questions that come my way as a Christian young lady in the 21st Century. The topics in my journals just bounce all over the place, and I would definitely say that the past four years of college have been the most spiritually challenging of my entire life. I imagine it is only the beginning of my growth and change.

Today I decided to read over a journal that I started this semester in mid-January, just before the first winter snow storm of this year hit Edmond. I cannot believe how much has happened in the last two months. Even more than that, I could clearly see how God has walked with me and answered my prayers in His own timing. It was a ton of little occurrences and seemingly insignificant sentences, but it was enough. My heart was and is humbled.

If you are ever doubting that God works in your life, keep a journal, a prayer box, a list, or something that can give you a fresh perspective. If you open your heart to it, I don’t think you will be disappointed.

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