Yesterday it hit me that I am [less than] two months away from graduation. It is starting to seem more real and I do realize that I will probably miss OC and the atmosphere here. Part of me is ready to fly away and part of me is very comfortable and at home. At times of transition I think the questions in my life just seem louder. And being human, I just doubt that God really is there. I doubt that He is in control even though I have seen His goodness over and over throughout my life–especially in the past year.
Oh, ye of little faith.
Sometimes that is how I feel. Like I am a five year old that cannot remember how to tie her shoes. When I see my friends hurting, sometimes I don’t know how to help no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I don’t even know what my life is supposed to look like or how to get there. And it can be overwhelming.
Normally that is the time that I remember that my focus is all wrong. I am looking at the waves instead of the One who quiets the waves. And then God gets my attention. Last night it was at a worship service on campus, but it has happened in a variety of ways. I worshiped the Creator and I felt whole again. And I knew that no matter what, when, where or who, God is in control.
Questions will always be there, but my constant answer and my constant hope is Jesus. And I am thankful.