Questions and answers

Yesterday it hit me that I am [less than] two months away from graduation. It is starting to seem more real and I do realize that I will probably miss OC and the atmosphere here. Part of me is ready to fly away and part of me is very comfortable and at home. At times of transition I think the questions in my life just seem louder. And being human, I just doubt that God really is there. I doubt that He is in control even though I have seen His goodness over and over throughout my life–especially in the past year.

Oh, ye of little faith.

Sometimes that is how I feel. Like I am a five year old that cannot remember how to tie her shoes. When I see my friends hurting, sometimes I don’t know how to help no matter how hard I try. Sometimes I don’t even know what my life is supposed to look like or how to get there. And it can be overwhelming.

Normally that is the time that I remember that my focus is all wrong. I am looking at the waves instead of the One who quiets the waves. And then God gets my attention. Last night it was at a worship service on campus, but it has happened in a variety of ways. I worshiped the Creator and I felt whole again. And I knew that no matter what, when, where or who, God is in control.

Questions will always be there, but my constant answer and my constant hope is Jesus. And I am thankful.

1 Comment

  1. Kaylee, sounds as if you are definitely ready for the world. You have your head on straight and your heart is with the Lord and his guidance and that is the most important lesson one can learn. What an exciting time to see where God is going to place you. Let your heart be filled with joy for your next adventure that God has totally planned for you. You are way ahead of the game, because you already realize that the perfect path is the one that God has planned for you. You just have to make sure you are listening for directions and not listening to yourself and your own ideas of what you think his plan is. I always talk to him and tell him I tend to be a slow learner and need for him to be specific. I ask for something specific to happen so I will know it is directly from him and am not following my on lead ( I’m am pretty bad about that, think I know best, always gets me in troublt). It is always a literal thing someone will call, someone will come by, or sometimes I just pray and put all my faith in him and say I am going to draw out of the hat and what ever you want me to do will be the one I draw. Of course never do that if you are not prayed up, but when you are go for it and know what ever the result God is in control and go full force with your pick. Sometimes I do not like the pick and think oh why did I do this, but it always turns out right. God has a plan and we may not understand always, but is so cool knowing he can handle whatever we throw his way. If we allow him he takes all of our wrong decisions and turns them to the good. Excited for you, proud of you and love you. Aunt Deb

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